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Be a better listener, part two: AIM, the three significant aspects of listening

1 May, 2011 By grhilligoss@gmail.com Leave a Comment

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Article by Gayle Hilligoss

Ed. Note: Last week we featured Part One of this series on Listening, where we learned in part, how to be an active listener. This week Gayle provides specific advice that will help you become a better listener. As I read through her words, I thought about what a wonderful world it would be if we all followed this advice.

Professional Secretaries International (now International Association of Administrative Associates) taught seminar attendees a technique using the acronym AIM to create a positive attitude for listening. AIM represents three significant aspects of listening: attention, interest, and motivation.

AIM: attention, interest, motivation

A = Bring yourself to attention. Poor listeners fake paying attention while their minds wander. The active listener consciously works to resist distractions and concentrate on the message.

I = Focus your interest. Poor listeners decide after a few words that the conversation holds no interest for them so they stop any effort to pay attention. The active listener seeks to find useful information regardless of how dull the subject or how unskilled the speaker.

M = Identify your motivation. How well you listen depends on how motivated you are. Here are some good reasons for improving your listening skills.

• Listening allows you to learn. Receiving information is difficult when you do all the talking. When you listen you can learn about the subject being discussed (as well as learn about the speaker).

• Listening allows you to make better decisions. Life doesn’t give us enough time to make every mistake ourselves. Listening allows you to learn from the mistakes and victories of others, and helps develop better judgment.

• Listening helps solve mutual problems and resolves disagreements. You cannot agree or disagree intelligently with the other person until you know his point of view. Once you listen to the problem as he sees it, and he listens to the problem as you see it, you can cooperatively seek some solutions.

• Listening may solve problems for the other person. Giving someone an opportunity to talk may clarify the situation and provide the necessary emotional release.

• Listening can reduce tension. Allowing others to express their viewpoints may help clear the air of tension or hostility. As a result of your conscious aim to listen there will be fewer misunderstandings; grievances can be resolved before they get out of hand.

• Listening leads to cooperation from others. When a person feels you are really interested in her and her opinions, she is likely to respect you and the church you represent. People respond positively and cooperate more often when they know we care about them.

• Listening helps you sell your ideas. You have an idea for rearranging and redecorating your office. How do you sell your idea? Try asking the person you need on your side, “What would it take to make our office more attractive?” Then listen and follow through on the suggestions.

• Listening can save you trouble. If you talk before you really listen, you may make a decision or offer criticism you later regret. You may commit to action you cannot or will not want to carry out. If you feel pressured to give an opinion, listen carefully and evaluate before responding.

• Listening gives you confidence. When you follow the conversation carefully, you can be confident what you say is relevant. When you understand the other person’s point of view you can be confident of stating your rebuttal. You may spot loopholes in the other person’s logic and gain assurance in your own viewpoint. When you gain a reputation as a good listener, others give more weight to your report of a conversation.

• Listening increases your enjoyment of life. As an active listener, you gain more from all you hear. Conversations, meetings, music, entertainment all bring you more enjoyment and understanding. You are more tuned in to your world than ever before.

-----------------------

Series of the Three Articles on Be a Better Listener by Gayle Hilligoss

Click on any of the links to go to the article:
Be a better listener, part one: Mastering the Most Overlooked Communication Skill by Gayle Hilligoss

Be a better listener, part two: AIM, the three significant aspects of listening by Gayle Hilligoss

Be a better listener, part three: Ten techniques you can start to use now by Gayle Hilligoss

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Filed Under: Church Office Skills, Columnist Gayle Hilligoss Tagged With: church office skills, Columnist Gayle Hilligoss, listening

How to be a SUPER ASSISTANT in the church office

16 February, 2011 By grhilligoss@gmail.com Leave a Comment

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Article by Gayle Hilligoss

Ed. note: Sometimes we might wonder why we do what we do and how do we measure our success? This inspiring article from Gayle Hilligoss will help challenge and encourage you. Though currently I do all the church communication work from home for my bi-vocational pastor husband, I found this advice timely and practical.

As a full-time trainer I met with more than 75,000 ministry assistants throughout the United States and Canada. I visited hundreds of churches from New Hampshire to Hawaii, from Wyoming to Florida, and spent time with you in dozens of states between. Many of us have corresponded regularly for years. So, I speak from firsthand experience and observation when I say you are an extraordinary group.

You know what your job is—and what it isn’t.

As a super assistant you understand that to hit the target you need to know where the bull’s-eye is. You know the responsibilities and duties involved in your job. Even better, you know what results are expected. Knowing what the job is allows you to take the proper steps toward being able to handle it with confidence, skill, and poise.

When no position description is in place for your job, you take the initiative in writing one. With your job clearly defined, you enhance and extend your responsibilities without taking on the responsibilities of others. While always ready to lend a hand when needed, you focus on your own work and allow others to do theirs. People enjoy working with you.

You work toward being effective—not merely efficient. Efficient secretaries do the job right; effective ones do the right job right. You make wise choices regarding how to spend your time.

You recognize your job as ministry.

Your job is more than a job. It is ministry. Ministry is seldom convenient. Needed but routine work can be tedious. People tend to take you for granted. Service above and beyond is often required. Emergencies arise, extra effort becomes necessary.

You shine because when the need is there, you do more than just enough to get the job done. Whether managing the everyday work of the church office, rolling up your sleeves for special church programs, or dealing with emergencies, you approach the tasks at hand as ministry—an opportunity to show God’s love through service to others.

You commit to excellence.

The difference between excellence and mediocrity nearly always lies in the small things, in the details. And taking care of details is what your work is all about. Ministry involves a million little things done with consistency, competence, and compassion.

It takes more effort to look after the little things. But you do it. And the effort shows. You are known for your good work. The pastor and congregation can depend on the quality of your work.

People are still touched by dedication. While they may not know the mechanics involved, they can tell the difference between a neat, accurate bulletin and a messy one full of errors and misinformation.

Whether people notice or not is not the question though. You are serious about your work and feel an obligation to do your best. You care enough to invest yourself in doing excellent work—a mark of the true professional.

You keep learning.

Twenty years ago maturity and experience compensated to some small degree for current training. No more. Today, the knowledge you need to do the job—the methods and the machinery—becomes obsolete very quickly. You are committed to staying on the cutting edge. Seminars, webinars, classes, print journals, digital resources, and ministry assistants organizations keep you informed and inspired.

Certainly, there is a price to pay for training—in time, effort, and dollars. But you know the price to be paid for not learning; you choose the wiser option.

You communicate responsibly.

The secretary is the hub of the information wheel in the church. You are the one people count on to know who, how, what, when, where, and why.

No organization can do its job well without the free flow of necessary information. But, in order to use and dispense information, you must have access to it. That access requires your confidentiality. You have the trust of others because you never indulge in gossip or loose talk.

You aren’t afraid to ask.

The three-letter secret to success is ASK. If you need something, or think some action ought to be taken or some situation ought to be corrected, you communicate those concerns.

If, as people communicate with you, you are in doubt about any aspect of the information or instructions, you ask questions rather than assume. Assumptions are too often wrong. Asking saves time, dollars, efforts, and tempers.

You accept criticism objectively.

It can be difficult to take criticism for what it’s worth, to remember that sometimes it’s worth a lot and other times it’s not worth much.

You don’t allow yourself to take criticism as a personal attack. You learn what you can from it, resist trying to justify your actions, and always consider the source.

In your own operating style, you practice being a role model instead of a critic; your goal is to fix problems rather than to place blame. You assess situations, plan constructive courses of action, and set them in motion.

You maintain a positive attitude.

Each of us tends to find whatever it is we look for. You have developed the habit of immediately seeking something positive in every experience—especially in the experiences others might view as negative. You are not a Pollyanna, but are resilient about foul-ups, knowing that mistakes and misunderstandings are a normal part of life. You never make them more important than they are.

Unlike those who allow the weather to dictate their feelings for the day, you remain sunny even on gloomy days. Others may allow how people treat them to set the tone of their day. If people treat them well, they feel good; if not, they have a bad day. You know that no one can ruin your day unless you allow it. You  don’t expect praise or appreciation for everything you do—even the outstanding things. For you, the satisfaction of a job well done is its own reward.

You are flexible.

Being flexible is being willing to discard a cherished opinion, to try new ways of doing things, and to learn new methods. As comfortable as an old habit can be, a new way can be even better.

While a detour from the familiar may temporarily slow you down, it keeps your job from being boring and demonstrates your professionalism.

You keep your eyes on Jesus.

Strange as it may seem, working at the church can be detrimental to one’s faith. Nurturing your spiritual life is essential.

Church members, perhaps even the pastor, can (perhaps unintentionally) treat your Sunday worship time like just another day at the office. Wisely, you don’t.

Because you care so intensely about the church and its ministry, it could be easy to become disillusioned when plans and people fall short. Wisely, you don’t.

Daily time in prayer and reading God’s Word keep you on track. You understand people, even God’s people, may fail you—but Jesus never will.

You are super assistants! Keep up the good work.

“But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” —Isaiah 40:31  NLT

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Filed Under: Church Office Skills, Columnist Gayle Hilligoss Tagged With: church assistant, church office assistant, church office skills, Columnist Gayle Hilligoss

Kill complacency and continue to grow personally and professionally

24 January, 2011 By grhilligoss@gmail.com Leave a Comment

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Article by Gayle Hilligoss

Ed. note: The last article by Gayle was a wonderful encouragement on how to handle pressure, and this article is a fine balance to that information because we can be destroyed just as easily by complacency. Read on for advice on how to kill complacency and continue to grow.

Complacency can be an occupational hazard for any professional. Once a person becomes proficient in her job, the temptation to coast often comes into play.

What sets the true pro apart is her ability to continue to grow personally and professionally—to stay on the cutting edge—regardless of how long she has been on the job, how many responsibilities she handles, how many seminars she’s attended. The wise assistant realizes there are always fresh ideas to discover, new possibilities to explore, and more mature insights to gain.

• Build on your strengths

One of the most important elements of success in any endeavor is the ability to recognize what you do best and what gives you the greatest satisfaction. It may be writing, graphics, supervising, organizing files, or another of your responsibilities.

• To grow in your job, find as many ways as possible to use your unique gifts regularly during your day.

Exercising these skills boosts your self-esteem, keeps your work interesting, and strengthens your expertise. This is good both for you and for the church.

• Find ways to use your gifts outside the office as well.

Get involved in an office professionals organization, a ministry project, whatever allows you to use and develop your gifts as you give back to your organization and your community. You can establish yourself as the person to contact in matters concerning your field of choice.

• Appreciate the value of time

Those who excel in ministry are those who know the value of resources and use them well—and no resource is more valuable than time. Unlike other resources, time is finite. Everyone has just 24 hours a day; there is no way anyone can get any more. So the trick, then, is to invest each of your minutes in something that matters and not to waste any minutes on what doesn’t.

Few accomplishments are more professionally rewarding than skillful time management. Of course, this skill is not a once-for-all endeavor. But with practice you get to the point where you can realistically control at least 60 percent of your work time.

Some important steps in time management:

  • Before heading out the door at the end of each day, take a few minutes to list your top priorities for the next day. Consistently do this until it becomes second nature.
  • In the morning, review and adjust the list as needed. Then stick with it.
  • When an emergency pulls you from your plan, address the need and then immediately get back on track. Eliminate habits that nibble away at time and keep you from priorities.

Killing complacency, building on your strengths, and valuing time will keep you right where you want to be professionally—on the cutting edge.

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Filed Under: Columnist Gayle Hilligoss, Contributors Tagged With: church office, church office skills, Columnist Gayle Hilligoss, complacency, time management

Operate effectively under pressure

6 January, 2011 By grhilligoss@gmail.com Leave a Comment

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Article by Gayle Hilligoss

Ed. note: As we start into the New Year the wonder and joy of the holidays is gone and it seems like we have an overwhelming amount of work to do. Gayle's advice is extremely timely and useful as always. Her words greatly encouraged and inspired me—I trust they will help you also.

There was a time, not really so long ago, when common knowledge decreed it was somehow a good thing for the ministry assistant to be frazzled and stressed, that in some way, looking and acting crazed showed one’s commitment or dedication. Now most of us recognize that is not the case, and a part of our continuing education involves learning how to function effectively when the crunch is on.

Let’s say a major deadline is coming up fast. A series of small emergencies has interrupted your schedule for days. Everyone wants everything now. You can do this!

• Resist the urge to simply head toward the squeakiest wheel. Take a deep breath. Either rework your existing to-do list or make a new list of all the tasks awaiting your attention.

• Go through the list and shift to another day any tasks that can be delayed. Usually these are jobs someone tagged as urgent when they were assigned but, given the current office climate, they are no longer quite so important.

• Next, identify any jobs someone else can do for you. Take time to make assignments, get others going on the work, and check those off your list. Don’t be too quick to say that no tasks fall into this category. Almost always, if you are open to the possibility, you will find at least a few things to delegate.

• What is left on your list are tasks you must do personally and do now. Pick two of the smallest of these important jobs. They might be contacts you need to make to extend deadlines or calls for information on a project. Your object in choosing quick jobs is to establish momentum—to get things rolling and give you a sense of control.

• If you’ve done a thorough job with the steps above, there are only a few tasks left on the list, but they are major. At this point you may need to share with those involved that everybody may not have everything they want when they want it. Give Christian professionals the opportunity to show they understand and appreciate that one can do only what is humanly possible. If you need to create some uninterrupted work time, line up someone to field calls and visitors. If at all possible take yourself out of calling range; have your recruit handle things as if you were out of the country.

• Choose the most pressing task, bite the bullet, and start. Focus on this one job; don’t allow your attention to be diverted to urgencies that pop up. Avoid the firefighting mode; stay calm. Take your lunch hour as well as some occasional breaks. You work more effectively when you are not weary.

• Dealing pragmatically with pressure has enormous advantages. You don’t waste time wringing your hands or bemoaning your situation. You acknowledge what needs to be done, get a handle on your priorities, mentally prepare to tackle the job, set a realistic pace, and follow through. This is the way to get things done.

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